Monday, October 26, 2009

Red

So I am off to new places, why do I feel like I am again on the threshold of being an adult? I have over and over again come to have these feelings and this time does not seem as big as the others.  The first time this feeling came was on the way home from our honeymoon.  I sat on the plane in the middle seat while Devin slept against the window. As Spice Girls "Goodbye" flooded into me ears, I knew that as I stepped off that plane that life would be different and I had new responsibilities in front of me. I wept as I was saying goodbye to the fondest of fondest memories of my youth. Next I felt this feeling as I sat at my own graduation ceremony listening to David McCullough talk about the Brooklyn Bridge and asked the graduates what structures we will build and will their shapes last through the tests of time.  I wept then too, for me I thought my college years would never end and there it was staring me in the face(sort of). Honestly I never thought my high school years would end and it now has almost been five years.  Anyway I again felt this feeling as I truly did finish school after completing my large internship over the summer.  As I turned in the last assignment and had sat through the last class I took an extra long time walking to the jeep that afternoon and on the way back to work I wept once again.  Now again I find myself with the same feeling and am weeping.  I do feel it is bittersweet feelings that I continually feel but at the same time I am confused, i looked forward to these days in haste everyday and now I find myself longing to cheer at just one more game, being in charge of one last ysa activity, bowling at the union one last time, getting ready for one last date with the butterflies in my stomach, one last walk around president circle as a student, one last drive in emsride at night with the my favorite c.d., as much as I have always wanted responsibility I am sad to see the life of not really having to have it go.  Enough of me rambling, here is the true reason I sat down to write today. I am done with Wasatch Electric as of today at about twelve fifteen.  I am for sure sad to have said goodbye to some of the people I have grown close to over the past two years, but am anticipating tomorrow! The new job will be great and with it comes adult benefits and things such as paid holidays, paid sick time and paid time off!!! I am stepping off into that adult world that I have longed for and wanted the past few months, so I can support Devin! He let me finish my school so in a way I feel like I owe him, to be the one to work full time and carry the benefits, and what else do I have to do, no school and I am adament to not have kids until Devin is done with all his schooling.  It has been  kind of surreal to me all in all due to the fact that I had myself convinced that I did not get the job, but low and behold just like Devin said a day latter the call came! Universtity of Utah here I come and this time not as a student!

3 comments:

The Shelley Family said...

Yay! You started a blog! I'm so glad! And I'm excited for your new job. Good luck today!

Lana said...

Emily, it is so great to hear that I am not the only person who has a longing for the days of youth, for the memories of things we did as kids and the days of no responsibility. I too struggle with growing up sometimes. It is scary and it comes quickly. It's a whirlwind of emotion to sort trough. I think you are a beautiful writer, though, and I am excited that you have a blog. I am also excited for you to begin your new work adventure at the U. I hope it will be a place that makes you happy, something you can look back on with fondness. Also, congratulations on your first year of marriage. :) My second anniversary is tomorrow. I love you Emily, you are great! Thank you for sharing.

Ali and Brian said...

You will be great in the new adventures ahead. Enjoy being an adult --- you're married! What's better than that?! I think you're amazing; don't worry about crying so much. You're just sentimental, and that's something to be proud of. I'm right there with you. Just be grateful that you keep things close to your heart.